Yeah yeah

Well, it's official we have been in The Gambia now, one year, and 4 days.

I have been thinking of a sort of year in review, but it is so hard to put things into perspective and look back at what has happened over the past year, when it doesn't even seem like it's been that long. It also doesn't feel like everything that we've experienced actually happened to us.

I was going back and reading some entries in my first journal, it is so great to see the progression of things. Things that surprised me, or I found interesting are just commonplace now. (women with babies on their backs, the market craziness, gelley rides, etc.) I don't think I am to the point where I don't see those new things, but I just see them, and think, yep, that's that. In encountering new situations I find myself more able to take it in stride as they say. I guess that is what happens when you come to understand more about all the things that come together to make a particular culture.

I can't go through and analyze everything from the past year,.. my mind is not capable of it! We (you and me too) can go back and read the blogs. And one day maybe I will type up my hand written journals, but not now.

I can analyze the way I feel about myself now and my perspective on life here.

Making the decision to come here has always felt right. But I do realize that I have grown up to be the kind of person that can move to any town and feel like, yeah, this is good. Before coming here I tried not to have any ideas of what it would be like, and I think I did a pretty good job of doing that, ( I just felt anxious to find out what it was like, but did not speculate before hand)

I can't name how many times I have thought to myself in the course of our time here, this is where I am supposed to be.

I feel like I am a more confident and open person. In areas of work I have a deeper understanding of what I thought from an American perspective and from my education. This was one of the reasons I wanted to come here, (and the reasons I will travel more in the future). I wanted to be one that could genuinely understand why the things and ways I teach are important. And what can happen, and what it looks like when those aren't used or aren't happening. Not that I completely understand it all of course! But I am extremely aware and interested in those things, and want to study them more in the future. Childrens development, and the influences of culture in learning are in full view for me here to watch and experience, because I am in a sort of twilight zone of being somewhat acculturated but still an outsider. And I am thankful that I had the background that I do before coming here and think that the experiences here will be useful for me and my career in the future.


In work, I have had to become the master flexibility. Like navigating the market, I can change direction with whatever is happening at the moment, (that's how things work here if you don't already know) This is a useful skill that I think will help me in the future. And though I am still on toubab time when there is a meeting, or somewhere I have to be, I am much more casual and understanding of the people that don't follow mono chronic principles of time. It is just me, I will always be on time, but you don't have to be.

In daily life here I have hundreds of exchanges between people I don't know, and people I do know. Being able to have the social standards of greetings and the common conversations that go on, I feel free to say hello to strangers, and more comfortable in unfamiliar situations. This has carried over even when talking to other pcv's and so I feel like I am more social, (but still not spectacular).

From being here my confidence has grown. Being stripped of familiarity, having to learn what kind of things are essential to me being me, what kind of things are important to me, etc. have all contributed to this.

I feel very comfortable and at home in our living situation. Some days I come off the streets feeling a little harassed, and tell myself in my mind that I am definitely going to have some alone time today, but then I come in the compound, greet people, drop my things on the floor and immediately want to interact with our family and other people in the compound because I feel so comfortable in the space.

I think the comfort factor is also heightened because I am here with my husband. To us, it is just another part of our lives.. this is it,.. we are not waiting around for this to be over to start our real life,.. and say later,.. "yeah, I did that little stint in Africa" . /What we will say is , "we lived there for part of our lives". This is probably hard to understand, but sometimes I get the feeling from other volunteers that they are just enduring, waiting for the time to go by, trying to do things that pass the time, until they get to start really living again (when they go back to America). This is a part of my career, a part of my life with my husband, and thats that.

My pastimes here have also helped shape who I am becoming. With no television, I have taken back up reading with a vengeance, and though my eyes are the worse for it, I think my mind and perspective have benefited. Without the common American life distractions like tv, shopping centers, driving, unnecessary (but somehow "necessary") materials, the list could go on and on, I find myself more able to think clearly, and I have achieved the amazing feat (for me) to just be able to sit on my porch and think... with nothing in my hands, nothing to read, just sitting and thinking. As a result of all this thinking, I feel more sure about what kinds of things I like, what kinds of things I don't, what I personally think on many different topics, etc.

In college I got a little bit more of the "life lesson", "If you don't do it, who will? and when?" But here I realize it more and more. Even though some people find it harder to get things done here, I have had the freeing mind set that if I can't buy it, or find it, I will make it, get it made, etc. This happens daily, with school supplies, materials, things for our house, gardening, etc. I don't need that premade thing I can buy at Target, I can use a thing meant for another purpose, (find it on the ground even) reshape it, and wala! Its re-purposed! This makes me feel much less constricted and lets your mind get more inventive and creative with what you have.

The next year, (actually starting now, until we leave) seems to be shaping up to a whirlwind of activities, and I am going to be undoubtedly more busy next year, that I ever have this year. I only hope that I won't miss out on quality time with our family and the people here that we will sorely miss when we leave. I can't believe it is happening already, but some of the kids, when we are just sitting spending time together will, out of the blue, beg us not to go. Right now I feel thankful that I can say, "don't worry about that now! We still have a whole year!" But I really don't know what I will say when our time here is dwindling away.. What will I say? What will I be able to promise, to keep some sort of connection? And will I be able to do it?

I could go on and on, (and I might later) but on that note, I just want to say that being here for this portion of my life has always felt right. It feels like it is good timing to help me become more me.